The Dubious Art of Procrastination

"Procrastination is something best put off until tomorrow." ~Gerald Vaughan

A fellow writer asked recently when I would write an essay about settling on one Work In Progress instead of just piddling around with four. *grin* Thanks for the topic, Celia!

Ah, procrastination. I could do a week of essays on that particular subject but I think I'll wait. *wink*

Truth is, while it seems like a joke, the urge to avoid tasks, whether they be pleasurable or onerous, strikes us all. Dr. Joseph Ferrari, Ph.D., associate professor of psychology at De Paul University in Chicago, identifies three basic types of procrastinators.

• Thrill seekers—those who put off tasks until the deadline is breathing down their necks. Like a race-car driver careening towards the finish line, these procrastinators thrive on the adrenalin rush.

• Avoiders—these procrastinators often fear not measuring up. Their self-worth is dependent on the opinions of others. Better to be thought of as someone who is simply missing a deadline or not reaching potential than possibly being seen as mediocre or worse yet a failure.

• 'Decisional procrastinators'—those who balk at the fork in the road. Fearing the consequences of the wrong decision means they feel safer not making any decision at all.

I've definitely qualified for an avoider (oh, those self-esteem issues!), yet more often it's the fork in the road where I balk. This is why writing the first draft is such a white-knuckle challenge while the revisions are a delight. By now, 'The Dreaded Decisions' are far behind me so the focus can be directed towards the delicious crafting of words. Whew!

"I was always looking outside myself for strength and confidence but it comes from within. It is there all the time." ~ Anna Freud

Now for those addicted to the adrenalin rush, the real question is: "Do I thrive on this crisis-oriented energy or does it lead to excessive stress?"

Obviously, if you are a race car driver, the rush is truly a thrill. However, if you find that you get antsy when there's a lull or realize that for some darn reason your life is always bursting with one crisis or another it might be time to re-examine your focus. Being addicted to adrenalin can mean that you seek out situations or relationships that keep you on edge. It can lead to slap-dash work where you whip out a blog or knock out edits in record time but miss numerous typos that are glaringly obvious to others.

For avoiders and 'decisional' procrastinators, one major revelation is this—the avoided task will haunt you and burn up more hours than the tasks you actually finish. We'll put so much energy into justifying the avoidance that in the end we may end up truly exhausted without accomplishing a thing! Argh.

"Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task." ~William James

So here's one tip right off the bat. If you're stuck in a procrastination phase, at the very least push the avoidance from the unconscious (which leads us to play computer games, seek out snacks, chat on the phone, etc.) to the conscious. What I mean by this is Deliberately Procrastinate and Choose To Accomplish Something Else. Tackle the bathtub that needs cleaning or clear off the clutter from your desk. Answer correspondence or go through the mail. However, do set a time limit on your avoidance. One hour or perhaps one day. First off, you'll feel loads better if you've accomplished something positive instead of playing solitaire, plus seeing that sparkling tub or clutter-free desk can lift your spirits considerably.

"Some people plant in the spring and leave in the summer. If you're signed up for a season, see it through. You don't have to stay forever, but at least stay until you see it through." --Jim Rohn

Next tip: Just Do It.

"To think too long about doing a thing often becomes its undoing." ~Eva Young

This is where you're getting sneaky with your Self. Just like a mom might puree veggies to get finicky kids to eat (nothing new, my mom used the blender to whip together carrots and mushrooms to add to the stew), we might need to take steps to jump over the avoidance hurdle and hit the ground running.

One secret is simply, don't think about it. Just Do It.

Seriously.

Whether it's writing, exercising, or cleaning, the more we anticipate doing something we're avoiding, the more time we have to talk ourselves out of it. Tell yourself instead that you will begin writing at This Time O'clock and when the appointed minute rolls around, sit down without thinking about it and begin work.

"The great composer does not set to work because he is inspired, but becomes inspired because he is working. Beethoven, Wagner, Bach and Mozart settled down day after day to the job in hand with as much regularity as an accountant settles down each day to his figures. They didn't waste time waiting for inspiration." ~Ernest Newman

If you're trying to decide between ideas or manuscripts and you absolutely cannot choose one based on preference, jot down working titles or even numbers on strips of paper, put them in a hat and draw one. Work only on that one for a specific amount of time. You can give yourself a week or a month or whatever works for you. Sometimes knowing you 'only' have to focus for a particular length of time gives you a psychological out. Honestly, could we ever convince ourselves to exercise if there was no time limit? But knowing you 'only' have to bike for five minutes or a half-hour gives you a finish line. Give yourself a finish line even if it's only a stopping point.

"If you want to make an easy job seem mighty hard, just keep putting off doing it." ~Olin Miller

"We cannot do everything at once, but we can do something at once." ~Calvin Coolidge

Most importantly, be as kind and supportive to yourself as you are to others. Many of us fall into a habit of self-criticism, berating ourselves for what we don't accomplish rather than being supportive. If your good friend said she felt like a failure because she didn't accomplish the goal she set, would you say, "Well, that's because you're such a loser!" *wink*

When those negative thoughts invade your consciousness, deliberately replace them with supportive, positive and encouraging words. Believe it or not, many of the most successful people make it a habit to give themselves pep-talks. Although it's lovely when we receive outer validation, we can't depend on it. You Must Be Your Own Best Friend.

"Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections, but instantly set about remedying them - every day begin the task anew." --Saint Francis de Sales

Towards that end, surround yourself with friends or colleagues who also support your goals and provide the encouragement you need to stay on track. Do your best to avoid those whose criticisms discourage you whether by their actions or their words. My friends know not to call when I work, and when they do call they always ask if I'm in the midst of writing. Their actions declare their support as much as their kind words.

"Surround yourself with only people who are going to lift you higher." –Oprah Winfrey

Now, you tell me. How do you tackle the procrastination bug? When vacillating between manuscripts, how exactly do you select which one to write? What's your favorite method for staying on track?

Here's to a wonderful week bursting with productivity and focus!

Smiles,
Chiron O'Keefe

Also featured at Pop Culture Divas and Between The Lines.

For those who love to study the craft, you might find this of interest:

Romance University's Weekly Class Line-up.

The faculty at Romance University is pleased to announce our line-up for this week. We hope you'll stop by at http://romanceuniversity.org/ .

Mon, 7/27 Crafting Your Career: Bestselling author Bob Mayer will discuss career strategies.

Wed, 7/29 Anatomy of the Male Mind: Bob Mayer returns to share his thoughts on the male/female creative process.

Fri, 7/29 - Chaos Theory of Writing: Bestselling Author Allison Brennan joins us with Breaking Rules to Break in or Out.

All You Need Is Love

Nothing you can do that can’t be done.
Nothing you can sing that can’t be sung.
Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be you in time.
It’s easy…
All You Need Is Love.

–John Lennon

Being a writer requires us to incorporate many character traits. Persistence, patience, enthusiasm, and dedication are just a few. Rarely though, do we consider one of the most vital of all qualities.

Love.

As I’m writing this in the light of the most romantic of holidays, Valentine’s Day, what better time to explore this most elusive and yet vulnerable quality of being?

For many a romance writer, love is the stuff dreams are made of. Deep down most people yearn for a happily-ever-after, and heartfelt stories satisfy that craving. So how does this apply to writers and even people in general?

Love is the most essential quality of life. Whether it’s applied to our tastes (I love grapes) or yearnings (I love to travel), love is part of our everyday world. Yet often we push ourselves so much we’re barely getting by. Commitments, responsibilities, obligations, and worries, all suck up our precious moments and challenge our ability to maintain a semblance of balance. For writers, there’s deadlines and queries, edits and of course, the dreaded synopsis, all necessary aspects of our career which can leave us wrung out and feeling more despair than hope.

The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread. --Mother Teresa

For couples, it’s natural to utilize counseling and for parents, endless advice exists on how to maintain a loving bond. However each of us needs a solid relationship with the person we must live with every day of our lives—Our Self.

"You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." –Buddha

It’s so easy to encourage others, to offer up words of cheer and support, yet when we look in the mirror, we avert our eyes. We may grumble about our bodies or compare ourselves unfavorably to others. We bemoan every miniscule error and seize each mistake as proof of our general unworthiness. The real question here is, would we do this to a friend? For most of us the answer is a resounding No! Of course, we wouldn’t. Which leads to this question, when we did stop being our own best friend?

It's me who is my enemy

Me who beats me up

Me who makes the monsters

Me who strips my confidence.

~Paula Cole, "Me," This Fire

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” –Lucille Ball

Here’s an exercise I encourage everyone to try. Go to a mirror and say the three magic words. I Love You. Say it and mean it! Gaze into your eyes and connect with your soul. Some may feel an initial resistance. The self-criticisms that have for years fallen automatically from our lips might crowd in. Be patient with your heart. For many of us, the lonely vessel has taken a beating over the years. Focus on YOU and say it again.

I Love You.

There’s a special rush of exhilaration as the words sink in. Sometimes even tears well up. Let them. This is your precious moment with your true self. The first step. Take a moment to thank your wonderful legs for walking and those incredible arms for lifting and carrying. *smile* Now, one uncomfortable moment arises when those self-criticisms intrude, spitefully pointing out all the mistakes we inevitably make. Here’s the next step. Focus on your reflection and say:

I Love You No Matter What. I Forgive All Your Mistakes. I Love You.

“I must learn to love the fool in me the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries.” –Theodore Rubin from Love me, Love My Fool, 1976

Love, love, LOVE. It makes the world go ‘round, after all. *grin* Let’s direct our affection to all the positive things we wish to embrace and wish to be.

I Love ME. I Love Being A Successful Writer. I Love Being Productive. I Love Achieving My Goals. I Love My Book!

A funny thing happens when we frame our thoughts in a network of love. A sparkly, glowing light infuses our brain. This isn’t just speculation. Research has proved that love triggers different regions in our cerebral cortex. Scans actually do “light up” and chemicals triggering euphoria are released. Love is a potent tool and by Jove, let’s utilize it.

“Birds do it, Bees do it, even Educated Fleas do it. Let’s do it, Let’s fall in love!” –Cole Porter

This week, our focus is to enrich not only our writing but our lives with the power of love. For the next seven days, let’s do our mirror exercise. We’ll reinforce our self-love activity with positive Love statements. No matter what the task, we can approach it with the spirit of love. Maybe it’s silly, *laughs* so let’s embrace silly! Let’s be giddy and goofy and exuberant. I Love to Write! I Love Me!

“What can we gain by sailing to the moon if we are not able to cross the abyss that separates us from ourselves?” –Thomas Merton, The Wisdom of the Desert, 1960

The power of love is miraculous. Inscribed on the Temple of Apollo at Delphi are these words: Know Thyself. I’m going to add: Love Thyself.

With self-love, we can accomplish anything. We can climb any mountain, overcome any obstacle. Of course, we still need persistence, patience, enthusiasm and dedication. *wink* However, when we infuse our lives with love, an amazing energy bubbles up. Where before we felt grim, now our hearts are light. The weight of despair dissipates and a new hope buoys us up.

The smile you offer to your Self in the mirror is reflected back. It becomes easier to smile at others and to feel everlasting confidence. We all need to be our own best friend.

"I was always looking outside myself for strength and confidence but it comes from within. It is there all the time." --Anna Freud

My goals for the week:

I love doing edits for Sidekicks.
I love fleshing out the story and characters of my WIP.
I love doing my physical therapy exercises.
I love writing my weekly essay.
I Love Me!!

How’s about you?

Two more quotes, just because... *smile*

Happy Valentine’s Day!

“Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit.” ~Peter Ustinov

“Love must be as much a light, as it is a flame.” ~Henry David Thoreau

Smiles to you all,

Chiron O’Keefe
http://www.chironokeefe.blogspot.com/