Where Have You Painted Your Bulls-Eye?

"Success doesn't come to you…you go to it." --Marva Collins

A classic book on self-improvement was published in 1960 with the title, Psycho-Cybernetics. The author, Maxwell Maltz, was a successful plastic surgeon who noticed a peculiar and discouraging phenomenon with some of his patients. Despite the removal of what they considered physical flaws, many still believed they were unattractive. Maltz realized their distorted perception stemmed from a flawed inner-view.

Bottom-line, self-image is based on inner beliefs, not outer appearance.

"Self-image sets the boundaries of individual accomplishment." ---Maxwell Maltz

This phenomenon also affects our basic interaction with life itself. Our core image determines how we will approach both goals and opportunities that come our way. To put it simply, You Are What You Believe.

"It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not." ---Author Unknown

Now this is not new stuff, but the Dr. Maltz's approach may feel fresh, even nearly fifty years after its first publication. He likened the mind to a cybernetic "servo-mechanism". Pretty fancy, huh? The idea though is straightforward: our mind is like a computer-controlled missile heading to a target determined by beliefs. The self-image we possess is the result.

The target is determined by your beliefs. Think about that. Where have you painted your bulls-eye? How many times have you heard (or said) this common phrase: With my luck, THIS will happen…

Hmmmm?

"You have to expect things of yourself before you can do them." ---Michael Jordan

Since the publication of this classic (and I do recommend it to one and all) the idea of beliefs shaping the reality we encounter has become quite popular. Although, in fairness, the idea has existed for eons.

"The mind is everything. What you think you become." Hindu Prince Gautama Siddharta, the founder of Buddhism, 563-483 B.C.

Yet today we still struggle with beliefs that affect our behavior and our self-perception. Why do some people manage to accomplish so much while others clench their fists in despair? How can we achieve success and happiness in life? Obviously, effort must be made. Goals set and reached. But unless you believe you can and will achieve anything of value, you may unconsciously set yourself up for failure or just languish in procrastination hell.

"Low self esteem is like driving through life with your hand brake on." ---Maxwell Maltz

The good news is we can change our self-image. We can reprogram our brain to believe in success. One very powerful tool is visualization. By placing an image in your mind, you can reprogram your thinking. As children, we learn behavior by imitating others. We put a picture in our mind and strive to faithfully reproduce that image. We Form Habits.

How many here have to think before tying a shoe? Not many, I'm guessing.

Our mental habits are much more powerful than we realize. And those mental habits are part of our neural network. How we respond to a smile from a stranger, for example, is based on a series of beliefs. How we respond to rejection is also based on beliefs.

"It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to." ---W.C. Fields

So… how do we use the power of visualization to change our self-image, to attract success and to become all that we long to be?

First:

Form a mental image of something concrete. A writer can visualize herself typing The End or signing a contract with a coveted publisher. You can form a picture of yourself paying off bills, marking PAID IN FULL. Perhaps focus on the image of a confident, radiant 'you' giving a lecture or shaking hands with strangers who welcome you warmly. Reinforce your image with an affirmation set in the present moment. Instead of saying you will be (fill in the blank here) say I AM…

The mind will respond As If This Is Happening Now. You are restructuring your beliefs and setting a new target for your mind to lock onto.

Second:

Focus on this image for at least five minutes, perferably twice daily. Maybe in your morning shower (or even better, while looking in the mirror!) and once before bed. Suspend all disbelief and let yourself *feel* excited. Woo-hoo! I AM A Success! Tell yourself firmly: This Is My TRUE Reality. Everything else is an illusion I no longer need. Stick to this for at least a month. If negative thoughts pop up during the day, remind yourself that the "illusion" took time to set-up and might take time to fade away. However… This Is My TRUE Reality. Everything else is an illusion I no longer need.

Third:

Take action. Every day do at least one thing to reinforce your visualization. If you're trying to finish a book, for example, write at least one page and then repeat your affirmation. I finished that page! I AM a successful writer!

Fourth:

Persevere. Stick to this and you'll be amazed at the results.

Only as high as I reach can I grow,
Only as far as I seek can I go,
Only as deep as I look can I see,
Only as much as I dream can I be.
~Karen Ravn

The exuberant rush of holiday madness has passed. Winter is here, affording us the opportunity to retreat from the frenzy and focus on our craft. Let's utilize this time to pull energies that have been scattered the last few months and refocus on our writing. This will be a productive month. I can feel it. Let's Make It Happen.

Now share with me your tips for reprogramming your mind for success. Any great books or personal stories? Do tell!

--Chiron O'Keefe

Also featured at Pop Culture Divas and Between The Lines.

Just Write!

"You must be the change you want to see in the world." --Mahatma Gandhi

A few weeks back, I had been struggling to understand some of the psychological patterns in my life. Many of you probably relate. How often do we consciously want to move forward yet take action (or inaction) resulting in a setback? How often do we yearn for proof of our success, or better yet, of our worth? The ruminations lead to worry, which amplifies the insecurity that triggered the dismal cycle of self-doubt.

My own searching resulted in a night of revelations, which I spoke of in my essay, Taking Risks vs. Riding the Brakes. My joy over this breakthrough tumbled into an email exchange with my friend, Misty Evans. Her response (which she generously allowed me to post) prompted even more thought. She's paraphrasing Eckhart Tolle. Here's an edited version:

"Satori is the Zen term for a moment of Presence, where you step out of the voices in your head. When you face your insecurities, you rise up out of the clutter of thoughts and the turmoil they cause. You achieve Presence."

This is familiar stuff that we forget repeatedly *snort* yet as writers we need to remember. Be Here Now. Don't fret over how your novel will end or if the pieces will tie together; it's only a first draft. Just write. Don't freak out about sending out queries or the endless "what if's?" in your writing career. Just write. Don't panic at the deadlines or the promotion or the submissions. Just WRITE!

Be Here Now. Write in the moment. Feel the presence of your characters. Revel in the story you're telling. FACE your insecurities.

"When you wake up in the morning, Pooh," said Piglet at last, "what's the first thing you say to yourself?"
"What's for breakfast? said Pooh. "What do you say, Piglet?"
"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?" said Piglet.
Pooh nodded thoughtfully."It's the same thing," he said. –A. A. Milne

There's only one valid reason to be a writer. The Love of Writing. Yet we all know those pressures build up and we forget how exciting and fulfilling and fun it can be! Often times those pressures can be whisked away by those three magic words. Be Here Now. Forget, even for just a few moments, the worries that rattle your world. Breathe deep and remind yourself there is only one moment that matters, only one moment that exists. Now. WRITE now. *smile*

"Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment." ---Buddha

If a particular passage is sticking, pull up another document and let your imagination play. Often it's nothing more than an unacknowledged fear impeding your progress. Fear of "bad writing" can hold us back . We become paralyzed, frozen by a glimpse into an imaginary future where our book doesn't meet expectations. We forget it's only a first draft because we project that fear into the future. Be Here Now.

Close your eyes, take a deep breath and remember the thrill of writing. Feel the excitement, the euphoria, the absolute JOY of writing. Do you love to write? Then shout it out (though it may be wise to shut the door first *grin*) and let those words rock your world. I Love To Write! I Love To Write!

Now, one more exercise. Close your eyes and picture all those worries and concerns as thought balloons. One by one, release those balloons and let them drift away. Surround yourself with the indescribable joy of Being A Writer.

This week our focus is clear. Let's all Be In The Moment, and remember to Just WRITE!

"Forever is composed of nows." –Emily Dickinson

Now you can tell me, how have you faced down your own fears or broken through psychological patterns of insecurity? Any times when you felt overcome yet persevered?

--Chiron O'Keefe
Also featured at Pop Culture Divas and Between The Lines.

Reprogram Your Mind Towards Success

"Success doesn't come to you…you go to it." --Marva Collins

A classic book on self-improvement was published in 1960 with the title, Psycho-Cybernetics. The author, Maxwell Maltz, was a successful plastic surgeon who noticed a peculiar and discouraging phenomenon with some of his patients. Despite the removal of what they considered physical flaws, many still believed they were unattractive. Maltz realized their perception was distorted because of a flawed inner-view.

Bottom-line, self-image is based on inner beliefs, not outer appearance.

"Self-image sets the boundaries of individual accomplishment." ---Maxwell Maltz

This phenomenon also affects our basic interaction with life itself. Our core image determines how we will approach both goals and opportunities that come our way. To put it simply, You Are What You Believe.

"It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not." ---Author Unknown

Now this is not new stuff, but the Dr. Maltz's approach may feel fresh, even nearly fifty years after its first publication. He likened the mind to a cybernetic "servo-mechanism". Pretty fancy, huh? *grin* The idea though is straightforward: our mind is like a computer-controlled missile heading to a target determined by beliefs. The self-image we possess is the result.

The target is determined by your beliefs. Think about that. Where have you painted your bulls-eye? How many times have you heard (or said) this common phrase: With my luck, THIS will happen…

Hmmmm?

"You have to expect things of yourself before you can do them." ---Michael Jordan

Since the publication of this classic (and I do recommend it to one and all) the idea of beliefs shaping the reality we encounter has become quite popular. Although, in fairness, the idea has existed for eons.

"The mind is everything. What you think you become." Hindu Prince Gautama Siddharta, the founder of Buddhism, 563-483 B.C.

Yet today we still struggle with beliefs that affect our behavior and our self-perception. Why do some people manage to accomplish so much while others clench their fists in despair? How can we achieve success and happiness in life? Obviously, effort must be made. Goals set and reached. But unless you believe you can and will achieve anything of value, you may unconsciously set yourself up for failure or just languish in procrastination hell.

"Low self esteem is like driving through life with your hand brake on." ---Maxwell Maltz

The good news is we can change our self-image. We can reprogram our brain to believe in success. One very powerful tool is visualization. By placing an image in your mind, you can reprogram your thinking. As children, we learn behavior by imitating others. We put a picture in our mind and strive to faithfully reproduce that image. We Form Habits.

How many here have to think before tying a shoe? Not many, I'm guessing.

Our mental habits are much more powerful than we realize. And those mental habits are part of our neural network. How we respond to a smile from a stranger, for example, is based on a series of beliefs. How we respond to rejection is also based on beliefs.

"It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to." ---W.C. Fields

So… how do we use the power of visualization to change our self-image, to attract success and to become all that we long to be?

First:
Form a mental image of something concrete. A writer can visualize herself typing The End or signing a contract with a coveted publisher. You can form a picture of yourself paying off bills, marking PAID IN FULL. Perhaps focus on the image of a confident, radiant 'you' giving a lecture or shaking hands with strangers who welcome you warmly. Reinforce your image with an affirmation set in the present moment. Instead of saying you will be (fill in the blank here) say I AM…

The mind will respond As If This Is Happening Now. You are restructuring your beliefs and setting a new target for your mind to lock onto.

Second:
Focus on this image for at least five minutes, perferably twice daily. Maybe in your morning shower (or even better, while looking in the mirror!) and once before bed. Suspend all disbelief and let yourself *feel* excited. Woo-hoo! I AM A Success!! Tell yourself firmly: This Is My TRUE Reality. Everything else is an illusion I no longer need. Stick to this for at least a month. If negative thoughts pop up during the day, remind yourself that the "illusion" took time to set-up and might take time to fade away. However… This Is My TRUE Reality. Everything else is an illusion I no longer need.

Three:
Take action. Every day do at least one thing to reinforce your visualization. If you're trying to finish a book, for example, write at least one page and then repeat your affirmation. I finished that page! I AM a successful writer!

Four:
Persevere. Stick to this and you'll be amazed at the results.

Only as high as I reach can I grow,
Only as far as I seek can I go,
Only as deep as I look can I see,
Only as much as I dream can I be.
~Karen Ravn

We Can Do It! Autumn is sneaking in and soon winter will be knocking at the door. As the leaves drip off the trees and animals hunker down to ride out the cold weather, the urge for retreat can swell. Let's utilize this time to pull energies that have been scattered all summer and refocus on our writing. This will be a productive month! I can feel it… Let's Make It Happen.

Now share with me your tips for reprogramming your mind for success. Any great books or personal stories? Do tell!

--Chiron O'Keefe
Also featured at Pop Culture Divas and Between The Lines.

All You Need Is Love

Nothing you can do that can’t be done.
Nothing you can sing that can’t be sung.
Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be you in time.
It’s easy…
All You Need Is Love.

–John Lennon

Being a writer requires us to incorporate many character traits. Persistence, patience, enthusiasm, and dedication are just a few. Rarely though, do we consider one of the most vital of all qualities.

Love.

As I’m writing this in the light of the most romantic of holidays, Valentine’s Day, what better time to explore this most elusive and yet vulnerable quality of being?

For many a romance writer, love is the stuff dreams are made of. Deep down most people yearn for a happily-ever-after, and heartfelt stories satisfy that craving. So how does this apply to writers and even people in general?

Love is the most essential quality of life. Whether it’s applied to our tastes (I love grapes) or yearnings (I love to travel), love is part of our everyday world. Yet often we push ourselves so much we’re barely getting by. Commitments, responsibilities, obligations, and worries, all suck up our precious moments and challenge our ability to maintain a semblance of balance. For writers, there’s deadlines and queries, edits and of course, the dreaded synopsis, all necessary aspects of our career which can leave us wrung out and feeling more despair than hope.

The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread. --Mother Teresa

For couples, it’s natural to utilize counseling and for parents, endless advice exists on how to maintain a loving bond. However each of us needs a solid relationship with the person we must live with every day of our lives—Our Self.

"You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." –Buddha

It’s so easy to encourage others, to offer up words of cheer and support, yet when we look in the mirror, we avert our eyes. We may grumble about our bodies or compare ourselves unfavorably to others. We bemoan every miniscule error and seize each mistake as proof of our general unworthiness. The real question here is, would we do this to a friend? For most of us the answer is a resounding No! Of course, we wouldn’t. Which leads to this question, when we did stop being our own best friend?

It's me who is my enemy

Me who beats me up

Me who makes the monsters

Me who strips my confidence.

~Paula Cole, "Me," This Fire

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” –Lucille Ball

Here’s an exercise I encourage everyone to try. Go to a mirror and say the three magic words. I Love You. Say it and mean it! Gaze into your eyes and connect with your soul. Some may feel an initial resistance. The self-criticisms that have for years fallen automatically from our lips might crowd in. Be patient with your heart. For many of us, the lonely vessel has taken a beating over the years. Focus on YOU and say it again.

I Love You.

There’s a special rush of exhilaration as the words sink in. Sometimes even tears well up. Let them. This is your precious moment with your true self. The first step. Take a moment to thank your wonderful legs for walking and those incredible arms for lifting and carrying. *smile* Now, one uncomfortable moment arises when those self-criticisms intrude, spitefully pointing out all the mistakes we inevitably make. Here’s the next step. Focus on your reflection and say:

I Love You No Matter What. I Forgive All Your Mistakes. I Love You.

“I must learn to love the fool in me the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries.” –Theodore Rubin from Love me, Love My Fool, 1976

Love, love, LOVE. It makes the world go ‘round, after all. *grin* Let’s direct our affection to all the positive things we wish to embrace and wish to be.

I Love ME. I Love Being A Successful Writer. I Love Being Productive. I Love Achieving My Goals. I Love My Book!

A funny thing happens when we frame our thoughts in a network of love. A sparkly, glowing light infuses our brain. This isn’t just speculation. Research has proved that love triggers different regions in our cerebral cortex. Scans actually do “light up” and chemicals triggering euphoria are released. Love is a potent tool and by Jove, let’s utilize it.

“Birds do it, Bees do it, even Educated Fleas do it. Let’s do it, Let’s fall in love!” –Cole Porter

This week, our focus is to enrich not only our writing but our lives with the power of love. For the next seven days, let’s do our mirror exercise. We’ll reinforce our self-love activity with positive Love statements. No matter what the task, we can approach it with the spirit of love. Maybe it’s silly, *laughs* so let’s embrace silly! Let’s be giddy and goofy and exuberant. I Love to Write! I Love Me!

“What can we gain by sailing to the moon if we are not able to cross the abyss that separates us from ourselves?” –Thomas Merton, The Wisdom of the Desert, 1960

The power of love is miraculous. Inscribed on the Temple of Apollo at Delphi are these words: Know Thyself. I’m going to add: Love Thyself.

With self-love, we can accomplish anything. We can climb any mountain, overcome any obstacle. Of course, we still need persistence, patience, enthusiasm and dedication. *wink* However, when we infuse our lives with love, an amazing energy bubbles up. Where before we felt grim, now our hearts are light. The weight of despair dissipates and a new hope buoys us up.

The smile you offer to your Self in the mirror is reflected back. It becomes easier to smile at others and to feel everlasting confidence. We all need to be our own best friend.

"I was always looking outside myself for strength and confidence but it comes from within. It is there all the time." --Anna Freud

My goals for the week:

I love doing edits for Sidekicks.
I love fleshing out the story and characters of my WIP.
I love doing my physical therapy exercises.
I love writing my weekly essay.
I Love Me!!

How’s about you?

Two more quotes, just because... *smile*

Happy Valentine’s Day!

“Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit.” ~Peter Ustinov

“Love must be as much a light, as it is a flame.” ~Henry David Thoreau

Smiles to you all,

Chiron O’Keefe
http://www.chironokeefe.blogspot.com/